I have failed to become a wife and also a mother. I don't know what is going on and where is my marriage heading. We quarrelled pretty badly last nite and I can see that he can't sleep the whole nite after our arguments. Seriously I don't know what should my next step be. Is it all really my mistakes? Is it all my fault and I'm the one who wants all these to happen? Do I really want this marriage to be ended and my two kids suffer from my doings?
I just don't know. I really don't know. I have no idea if what's the best solutions. Should I be hanging on the the relationship for the sake of my kids? Will they be able to grow up in a healthy family after this? So many questions in my head and all are without answers.
Oh Lord...please help me. Is it all merely my fault? Am I the one to be blame? Lord, what should my next step be?
I don't know if I'm the one "xiao chi" or he is. I do admit there are times I'm pretty calculative and take things personally and hard. More like easy felt being offended. But he is no better than I am. He's the same too. Will going seperate ways is the best option after this?
I felt like crying again. I don't know what I should do. I don't know to whom can I cry all these out. I need a shoulder to cry on. I need to cry out loud. It should be able to relief my heartache abit. I need a quiet place and a shoulder. Who can provide me all those? I desperately need one. Please, please anyone who reads it and can do so, let me know. I'm sick and tired of all these. Really sick and tired. I don't need anyone to support or side me. I just need an ear to listen, a body to hug and a place to release all this tears. I may be wrong. I may be the one who's doing all the mistakes. Therefore, I don't need anyone to side me. I just need to let go what's inside.
Ta...
I'm here..anytime..there are times when we couldn't help but wonder where this road gonna bring us. Every choice you decide now will bring you to a different path in life. It's the consequences that we have to live with. It is just because of the bad times we choose to drop everything and get out from there? Is it really nothing can be resolved? Are these issues ever going to end? You must be wondering this in your head.. Well, I'm here, not to judge you or anyone. I'm here, as an imperfect person who is good enough for hugging. :P
ReplyDeleteI know you will always be there for thru my ups and downs. Wanted so bad to sms you but I do not want to disturb you on your hols. So ended up shutting everything to myself and had a terrible gloomy day yesterday. But today feel much better already.
ReplyDeleteno worries, can call me even when it's 2am in the morning..it's only natural for you to swallow all the misery to yourself...just want you to know I am here, always. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you feel much better already :P
I tot everything was back to normal but I was wrong again. I was very very wrong. I guess there's no turning back point for me anymore. I really give up hope to maintain this relationship.
ReplyDelete