Saturday, 28th February 2009

Babs told me my blog was pretty quiet lately. Yes, I must admit it is true. I haven't drop in to write anything although my minds has lots of ideas to spill. Was planning to write something on the parade on Thursday evening. Even took some photos although not all the photos of the parade. Alas, but in the end I did not write anything.

Okay. Basically the parade is in conjunction of the Deity Tua Pek Kong's birthday. This parade only comes every 3 years. Long long time ago, it was like every 60 years once. I myself did not have the opportunity to watch the parade from the beginning til end. Reason was my Prince Faegan did not allows me too. So I spent most of the time inside the car. Anyway, it started quite late and ends about 10pm from the location I watched.

I took a afternoon off on Thursday as well and drop by TLS. Was supposed to meet Ms Ho but she took an emergency leave. So there I was meeting Ms Bong. The meet up was ok but feedbacks received made me thinking. Was my request too much? Somehow I thought I should be deserving it. Anyway, as at today neither Ms Ho or Mr Goh called. I guess I don't have to look forward for them to call me again. Giving up? Oh well. Perhaps so.

Basically, I seems desperate to start a new life. I'm so so looking forward to leave the place I am now. Being so dreaded to wake up every morning and move to that very location. I don't know why I just don't want to be there anymore. Because of that Kennel? Probably. Besides that, there are someone there who I just don't wan to see and work with. Not only Kennel alone. I need a new and fresh beginning and life. I need to earn more and support my family. I'm spending more than what I've earn. It may seem ridiculous to you but it's not. I do not know how to manage my financial the smart way. I have debts here and there. Hahaha....No I don't owe any Ah Longs. I only owe the banks.

Sigh....

I'm very fatigue now. There's a big pail of laundry need to be done. I'm having sleepless nights. It is either my Prince Faegan having troubles of sleeping else I will be waking up after having nightmares. Nightmares normally is on works. Either I take my jobs too seriously til my brain did not stop working eventhough I'm sleeping or I'm insane. Tell me which one I am.

I think I better get some sleep now. My body is really aching now. Ta-Ta. Sweet dreams people....

Tuesday, 17th February 2009

I received a sms this morning with some sort of good news although percentage of getting it is not 100%. The sms was something like this, "your post at **** confirm unless m**** interfere. 3 person agreed." How's that for a sms on a Tuesday morning?

Oh well, can't be too happy and putting a high hope on that. No matter what no black and white has been issued and receive by me. Suddenly I don't feel like going there. Before the submission I was like very eager and looking for people to recommend me. Even after the submission yesterday. Keep on calling and sms my husband to get people to recommend me. But after I get this sms this morning, I'm beginning to think twice. What if I really get it? How is it going to be there? Will I be able to on leave for my holidays? Will I be able to pick up my daughter on time? Lots and lots of questions flying through my head although there is no definite confirmation I will get it at the end.

I got works to do but I'm just so LAZY. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm LAZY. I'm taking my sweet time browsing blogs and sites. Playing Pet Society in my Facebook. That is what I've been doing since yesterday. Taking the opportunities of bosses not around and my superior travelling outstation.

I have urgent things to do. Certificates to prepare but I'm still writing my blog and reluctant to start. How come? I wish I know. Wait....I do know. I'm simply just LAZY.

Okay, my second superior is back so I better get started with my work before I'm given another warning. Probably come back later. Ta-Ta

Sunday, 15th February 2009

Well, I managed to complete filling in two forms last nite after blogging. Completed sticking photos to it this morning and attached the necessary documents.

Around noon time only I managed to get out from the house and deliver the documents. First intention was to deliver it to my aunt but she was not home. She asked me to pass it to my mom and she will picked it up later in the evening. I'm wondering now if she remember to pick it up. I need my aunt to help me with the submission.

Oh well. Whatever it is, I've already done what I'm suppose to do. I'll leave the rest to God to decide if my next path is heading that way. Not my worries anymore. He has it all written down. I'll need His guidiance to choose the correct path.

Right now as usual, my prince and princess are sleeping. Else I won't be able to online and blog. My tv is on and it was playing some ghost story. Wasn't paying much attention to the movie anyway. Logging in to my facebook as well. My Pet Society seems to be loading for ages. Until now still haven't finished loading. I think my pet is full of flies already. Tried to open it last night but it was under maintenance. I can see my msn chat window blinking as well. Chatting with someone whom I can't remember who he is in my friend list. Funny isn't it?

Tomorrow is Monday and I really hate it. I feel very dreaded to go back to office. Especially at the office I'm currently working at. Abothen, I've been there for almost two years. Just one more month to go to mark two years of employment there. I think I should be graduating from there and choose a new place to study. Hahahaha......two years is enough to gain knowledge there. Boring already. Should try a new environment and something new. Need something interesting and challenging in order to have a more interesting and meaningful life. Don't you agree? We human need some fresh and interesting stuff to push us moving forward. Else, we will lead a boring life with nothing challenging.

Life normally is full of ups and downs whether you like it or not. No matter happy or sad, we still have to go on with our lifes. So, if possible, choose to be happy everyday. Correct or not? But how many of us can do that? For me, I can't. I live in a very stressful life at the moment. Although I really do not like and want that kind of live. I can choose to be a happy and stress free. But I didn't. I choose to stay in that stress circle unwillingly to step out. I don't know why. I just don't know how to live my life. Only me myself can change the style of living and thinking. No one else. So when am I willing to do so? I have no answer to that. Mind enlighten me with that? Hahaha....Bet you can't.

Oh boy.... My notebook is running out of power and I'm lazy to plug in the AC. I better go. Come back tomorrow if possible since boss and my superior not in. But I still have another superior around. Sigh.... Tons of work to catch up before all the bosses are back later next week. Haiz....

Saturday, 14th February 2009

I'm back to blog on Valentines Day. Sitting in front of my notebook on my bed while my prince & princess having their beauty sleep at 7.48pm. LoL.

Basically today is just a normal Saturday to me. Nothing special although alot of couples out there enjoying their candle light dinner or any other special outings. Maybe my kids are still small therefore we cannot enjoy this day like any other couples. Give me a few years time and probably on 14th Feb I will be able to have a candle light dinner too. Hahaha....Next year V Day will be different as we chinese will be celebrating the 1st day of CNY on 14th Feb.... Will that day be more grand due to double celebration? I wonder. Well, just have to wait 'til next year to find out.

So, finally I transfer some photos out from my handphone. Going to post some up and hope it will be good. Here we go.......

This is my Princess Faith & Prince Faegan. Picture taken on 07th December 2008. Princess Faith remains very much the same until now but not Prince Faegan. Take a look at this one below....

So basically he is 5 months plus turning 6 months old end of February. Picture above not really the latest as it was taken last month after he had his hair cut. Right now he loves to rollover making me more difficult to take his picture. Anyway, I will try to snap some later. I can see the obvious changes from the photos I took since the day he was born. Seeing babies grow day by day and seeing the changes is really amazing. This is how great God's creation are.

I have forms to fill so I think I better start filling it before I run out of time. Dateline for submission is this coming Monday, 16th February 2009. Will try to update my blog soon. Ta-Ta

Saturday, 07th February 2009

Have you ever been so excited and wanted to try something so badly 'til you voice your decision to someone and somehow that very someone condemns your idea? It's like you are warm and happy then somebody just pour a bucket full of damn cold water over you. I'm telling you, it is something I was very disappointed last night. What's worse was the topic did not end right after that. It still follows up with a call after I reached home.

Am I really that bad? Am I really not that capable of trying something new? Is it my career only stays in the clerical and administration boundaries? I want to try something new. I really want to. A friend once told me, if you want to be successful in something whether you ever tried before or not, most important is to have confidence in yourself and what you do. For example, if you want to be successful in sales, you must have confidence in the products that you sell. Only then you will be able to present the best to the customer. I find it very true. If you keep on having negative thoughts and thinking you cannot do it, of course you will never success. You must be positive. Negative thinking will never bring a person far and will not be able to achieve something higher.

I'm so sad and confused right now. Part of me I really wanted to try something new. Part of me clouded by the negative advices of not to try. If I accept it, I will have to face my parents. There will sure be lots of lectures by them. I just don't understand. Why can't for once, just ONCE, they support what I do. Why they do not have the confidence in their daughter that she's capable of doing anything. In God's eye, nothing is impossible. I'm bringing that believe. Coz no matter how hard it is, somehow you will pull it through in the end with perseverance and confidence and hard work and the faith in HIM.

I need advice badly. I have to make a decision by 09th February 2009. And yes babe, it is your birthday. Happy Birthday, my dear Babe!!! ^^v

Oh Lord. I need an answer. Is that the path I should walk? I really need to know.

Wednesday, 04th February 2009

While I was chatting with my mother yesterday evening, suddenly she brought me a rather shocking news. The news somehow makes me more to believe that a person's life is rather unpredictable. She was a good girl in my point of view. Someone who has the same believe like me. But now, she seems to stray far away from God.

My mother told me she's now working as a GRO in a pub. She becomes a heavy smoker and drinker as a result from the place she's working at. I'm so disappointed. She always objected my brother to smoke but now she's smoking. Pretty irony, huh? I guess if she and my brother are still together, she won't be turning to someone else. She's completely different. Turning 180 degree (Thanks to Garry for correcting me.) to another person. Scary isn't it? A person you know becomes a stranger to you.

Oh well. That's life. Perhaps one day I will make a drastic change as well. Changes can be good or bad. For hers, is a bad change. I don't think her parents would approve her working in a pub. Her parents are businessman. I must say she comes from a middle-class family with good family background. I'm just so disappointed on how she turn out to be. I can't judge her. Only God can judge her but I just hope she would come back to the correct path. Hoping she would leave the world she's living now, realize the mistake she has made. Repentance.

I'm still giddy. I vomitted my breakfast less than half an hour I took it and now lunch I think almost want to come out again. Gee....

Life is so unpredictable.

Connected

I'm blind-folded on this carriage ride that they call life

Keep trying to make it through the next turn, knuckles white and holdin' tight

So here I go, taking the curve,

but I know that I'm never alone

I think of you, and how you never let me go.

I feel connected (connected), protected (protected),

it's like you're standing right with me all the time.

You hear me (you hear me), you're near me (you're near me),

and everything else is gonna be alright.

'Cause nothing can break this, nothing can break this, nothing can break this tie. Connected

It's not an accident, the time we spent apart

But now we're so close, I can always find you right here in my heart.

You've given me somethin' I need, and I don't ever want it to end.

Because of you, I know I've found my strength again.

I feel connected (connected), protected (protected),

it's like you're standing right with me all the time.

You hear me (you hear me), you're near me (you're near me),

and everything else is gonna be alright

'Cause nothing can break this, nothing can break this, nothing can break this tie. Connected

Everytime that I breathe, I can feel the energy.

Reachin' out, flowin' through, you to me and me to you.

wake or dream, walk or stand, you are everywhere I am.

Seperate souls, unified, touching at the speed of light.

I feel connected (connected), protected (protected),

it's like you're standing right with me all the time.

You hear me, you're near me, and everything else's gonna be alright. connected (connected), protected (protected),

it's like you're sitting right with me all the time.

You hear me, you're near me, and everything else's gonna be alright.

'Cause nothing can break this, nothing can break this, nothing can break this tie. connected, connected inside, connected, connected inside, connected

***********************************************************************************

I came across the song above while watching a cartoon with my daughter called Barbie & The Diamond Castle. The lyrics really caught my attention. Simple words used but meaningful. What do you think?

Best friend(s) are not easy to find. But there is one I know that will never turn his back on you or stab you from behind. That very person is God. He's always there for us. A great listener. A great protector. He has all the qualifications that you need in a friend. I'm not trying to be a hypocrite or what. I'm saying what I feel. God is just so amazing. He's more than what you can imagine He is. The miracles He can perform. The care, love and joy He can share. If you can find a friend that is truely a great true friend, then I must say you are one lucky person. Treasure the friendship that you own.

Halleluiah Praise The Lord!!!

Tuesday, 03rd February 2009

My oh my....The last time I drop by in here was like two weeks ago. LoL. How time flies by so quickly that you hardly can catch a glimpse on it. Let's see what I can recap back on what has happenned surrounding me.

Our company organised a lunch before the CNY. A love letter and a red packet from the management was received before CNY as well. Basically the love letter contains the information on bonus, increment, the 2009 target to achive, the 2008 performance, etc etc.... The comes the CNY. I can count with one hand only how many houses I have visited. It's true. Most of the time I was cruising on the road looking for places which has lion dance. Why? All because my Princess Faith loves to watch lion dance. So the daddy spent time cruising around places looking for any lion dance performance. I took a one whole week break for CNY and was back to report for duty yesterday.

Coming back to work is definitely not something to look forward to. I was so busy with my work and so many instructions and tasks given to me to perform. This is when my level of stress going up. And this morning I'm beginning to feel sick. Giddy and headache. Migrain starting too. I so hate this situation. I'm beginning to munch chocs. Everytime I'm stress, I cannot see any chocolates around. I will start eating. You just give me any amount of chocolate bars. I can finish it all up. I bought a chocolate bar just now. I can finished it in less than half an hour. Not that I'm hungry. Somehow I can just eat it.

I'm still thinking what is the next step I should take. Economy is not that good. Retrenchment, VSS and force leaves are almost everywhere. So, should I proceed with my plan to start something new or should I wait? Any suggestions anyone? Let me know what you think. LoL. As if there are people reading my blog and can give me comments.

There are so many things to do. I just don't know where to continue or rather where to begin already. Too tired to continue already. It is almost 4.00pm anyway. Very much looking forward to go home and eat. Hahaha..... I don't mind growing fat. I'm fat already. So why bothers if gaining more weight.

Basically that's all I can think off now. Wondering if I can take MC tomorrow. Desperately need some sleep and rest. Ta-Ta....