Sitting in front of the pc thinking of what to pour in here. It's been awhile since I log in here. Even the password I've forgotten already. Luckily I was able to reset it and change to a so-called new password.
I didn't get my butt to office today as I'm having fever myself with flu. The weather outside is hot but I'm wearing sweater and still feeling cold. I know I'm suppose to be in bed and rest my eyes just won't shut. So remembering I have this blog, I thought perhaps I should just drop by and pour a few words. Pathetic feeling though.
So many many things happening around me lately. In fact things has been happening since last year and it never stop. Relationship is one of it and I realise that I'm making a fool of myself but how come I still allows it to happen. Drifting me away to fantasy which will never be a reality. When will I wake up from this dream? The harder I try to let go, the more I can't let go and the more I suffer. Every single step I take is a huge mistake. No doubt I'm at fault and I should bear the consequences should anything happen after this. I'm the one playing with the flames or fire.
Financial should be next. It never leaves me alone in peace. Still struggling very hard. O when will all these stop? When I stop to breath?
Work? Work seems alright but still the distance is killing me. Colleagues? O well, never bother to hang out close with any of them. Office politics too strong. Even the other day two of these colleagues of mine fighting in the office. What a scene?! To me, I just do my work and the rest I don't care and bother to know. Of course I won't be selfish, snobbish and what not. Just that I will draw a boundary for it. Just to be safe.
I'm lucky to have friends who really concern and care about what's happening to me. Am really grateful for that but sometimes I just can't pour out everything to them. Sometimes things are not meant to be spread around. I will only pour out to people I feel comfortable telling to. So for those I can't tell, I'm sorry. Not that I don't trust you all.
Okay, seems like my eyelash want to hugs each other already. Maybe I should stop for now and get some rest.
Ta-Ta
